I remember

It has been one year since my dad lost his 3 month battle with cancer. I miss him. My kids miss him. Tomorrow will be the one year anniversary and it SUCKS!!!! I remember last year very vividly. I remember dragging the recliner into his room so my mom could sit with him. I remember going to bed. I remember getting the covers on and resting my head. I remember my mom coming into my room to tell me she thought me dad stopped breathing. I remember immediately looking at the clock. I remember the time on the clock-- 11:02pm. I remember going upstairs with my mom. I remember going into dad's room. I remember taking his pulse. I remember I felt NOTHING. I remember the warmth of his skin. I remember trying for a pulse again. I remember wanting to start CPR. I remember I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I remember telling my mom we needed to call Mel, our hospise nurse. I remember asking if she wanted me to call. I remember her calling Mel. I remember Mel coming and unhooking dad. I remember Nickle Morturay-Scott and David coming over. I remember Cynthia and Derrek coming over. I remember saying goodbye to Dad as we carried him out. I remember crying. I remember wishing time could rewind. I remember looking for a picture of Dad. I remember the snow that started to fall..... I remember how numb I felt. I remember texting Jamie to tell him to call when he woke up. I remember writing my talk Dad had asked me to give at his funeral. I remember I was unable to write it before--I just couldn't put words on paper. I remember going to bed with the lights on. I remember I couldn't sleep with them off. I remember waking up after 2-3 hours of sleep and driving my mom to Payson to tell my grandma before we told anyone else. I remember her collapsing in our arms when she saw both of us and asked who was with Brent....she figured it out and collapsed. I remember talking to Uncle Ernest. I remember driving back to Fillmore and my mom calling more family and friends on the drive in the snowy slushy roads. I remember being angry and wondering WHY. I remember the next few days seemed to drag on forever. I remember the incredible acts of kindness. I remember all the food. I remember. And I remember more I won't write at this time. I am happy for the memories....I just wish I had one more day....

Make the most of everyday. Live life to it's fullest. 3 months really can change your life.